www.phidong.com - i want to be good... at something

I'm so pathetic. I'm a jack of all trades, but a master of nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. It must be great to be a decent car detailer, a decent designer, a decent student, a decent photographer... right? Wrong!

I guess I'm getting greedy. I'd give it all up to be good at any single one of them.

Photography. I think if theres one area I'd want to improve on, this would be it. Now before you school freaks jump on me about being a pretty poor performer in school, let me explain. It's not that it helps me get away. It isn't because it's fun to do or because I've met some of the coolest people through it. Nor is it because it helps me relax. I don't love photography because of any one of these things. I love it because it is all of these things, but at the same time, when I look back at my past work.. it's a little depressing. I'm mediocre at best. I want to improve, but theres no drive. Desire is little without motivation.

I mean, I have all this stuff. Why is it that when someone asks me when the last time I shot was, I have to actually think back several weeks? And even then, theres not much to show for it. Events come once every couple months and I go through the motions, the ones I can remember at least. It's like a completely new experience everytime I go since they're spread so far apart from each other. Why can't I be the guy who takes a picture a day, a fabulous amazing stunning breath-taking moving inspirational picture everyday and posts it on his trendy blog? I don't know.

Theres a bit of reward in sharing the little I know with others and seeing them succeed, but I think the icing on the cake would be to see myself succeed, however selfish that would be. Yeah, I want that icing on the cake. Give it to me... sad