PHIDONG.COM . 5.0

Hi Phi,

Thanks for sending your poem. I just wanted to let you know that I've discovered I don't have a third paper from you. This is not good for your grade, but late will be much better than getting a zero. I really recommend that you turn in a paper tomorrow.

Also, as I'm sure you know, your lateness to class has been really excessive and seems to be getting worse. You have missed so much class time that it has to detract from your grade (as the syllabus and course policies explain) but if you make an effort come on time for the rest of the quarter, that will help.

Let me know if you have any questions, and see you tomorrow--

For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm truly alone. On a relationship sense, this has been true for quite a while, but I'm not really talking about that... I'm all alone. I'm the master of my fate and I've royally fucked up everything around me. School, relationships, and everything. I feel like I'm in a stupid hole that I keep digging deeper and deeper. I just want to start everything over.

This quarter, by far, has been the worst quarter of college. I haven't been to class, I dropped o-chem because it was "too hard for me" in the 7th week when the deadline to drop is in the 6th. I failed both of my midterms for MAE30 and goofed my midterms in Math 2J. The one class I thought was going good was Poetry, but my instructor thinks I'm a dolt. Poetry is about effort. If you put the effort out, you'll get a good grade..

It seems that I haven't been putting effort into ANYTHING I've been doing recently. I'm just drfiting through life. This is a wake up call. I need to stop waiting around for people, hoping someone will pick up my slack for me. I need to take the initiative, to make the effort. Its probably too little, too late. I e-mailed her back and tried to see what I could do to salvage my grade, but things are looking on the down for me right now.

It sucks that in my time of need, there is nobody I can turn to. I have this journal, but even now things seem to be so impersonal and cold.

I've tried hard to not be emo. To not look down and only look at the good things in life, but its hard not to take a hit like this when everything was in your hands. I'm the reason I'm here. I'm the reason I'm writing this. I'm the reason tears are strolling down my face.

I'm the reason for my pain, for my misery. I was in control and then suddenly, now..

I'm not.