PHIDONG.COM . 5.0

My room is a mess. A pile of clothes leaks out of my closet and makes its way into my doorway, blocking the door from shutting all the way. A small stream of light breaks through the crack, illuminating the rest of the mess. In the center of my room lies a small backpack, slung open. Camera gear, lying there. Restless.

I haven't had a shoot in who knows how long. I haven't touched my gear in over a month. I reach down and pull the camera out of it's styrofoam pouch. It feels almost foreign in my hands. Has it been that long? Have I forgotten everything already? I pull the viewfinder up to my eye and tap my "soft" shutter button (its kind of broken..) to power the camera on. It takes 3 seconds. Thats about 3 seconds longer than the new 20D will take to power on.

I want it. I quickly log on to my bank account to check some numbers. No way. The 20D will carry a pricetag of $1,500 dollars. Thats about $1,000 over my range. I shrug it off and try to fabricate ways to make up the money. Sell my gear? Who knows. Who knows whats going to happen.

All I know is that in 3 days, I'll have what I consider to be my last shoot. One last run for my Canon Digital Rebel. I have a wedding this Sunday. I feel so rusty. I'm sure it'll come back to me. Once I hear that shutter slap down. Once I look down, chimping, at a photo I just snapped. Everything will come back to me once I set up those lights with Loc and order people around, telling them to pose in the right way. Everything will be alright..... but...

theres still that bit of uncertainty for the future that lingers. Everyone around me is upgrading and for once, I wish I hadn't been so lazy and got a summer job. Oh well.