Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a moron. I know exactly what I'm doing right now, I just don't know exactly why I'm doing it or why nobody (including the parties involved) are stopping me. If I saw you fall, I'd try to catch you, but everyone is just stepping back and watching it happen. At the bottom, theres hurt and confusion.
I think I've pretty much figured everything out. Confusion comes from not knowing exactly what you want and why. I'm pretty confident I know what I want. I'm not confused about what decisions I'm making so much as I'm wondering WHY I'M MAKING THEM? From a distance, I step back and see myself walking into a trap, but when I'm here .. in my own shoes, in my own body, I cannot stop myself from advancing forward.
Things are getting crazy around here. Its a learning experience to say the least. I just hope I come out wiser and not more broken.