When I was about 8 years old (the furthest back that I can pretty much remember) I recall people having these little books they'd scribble in. On those old TV shows, they'd protect all the secrets with their life, and everyone who weren't the sole owner of the book would do anything to get a glimpse at it. Periodically, they would begin writing..
Dear Diary,
My life sucks. The world hates me. I'm emo.
Wait, thats present day. Believe it or not, online journalling started a long time ago. It didn't become a success until the original Blogger, Livejournal, Deadjournal, and Xanga hit the scene. I remember about 4 or 5 years ago my sisters journaling (they're 4&7 years older than me) and me seriously not giving a fuck about it. Look at me now, four years later, in their exact shoes. Doing all the things I thought was stupid, but really.. its trendy now. Everyone and their mamma has a Xanga, whether to record aim conversations, post ridiculous surveys, or you know what? Write in their fucking diary and complain about everything the world has to offer (which isn't much). Its amazing how I remember my sister typing her diary in word documents and saving them with passwords when I was like 8 or 9, the TV shows portraying the sacred book of secrets.. all the oldschool, and now nearly a decade later.. nothing has changed.
Nothing? Well, I guess you'd be wrong making that assumption. When LJ, Xanga, Blogger, etc. hit the scene, it created a whole new genre of keeping that old diary. So, whats the difference?
1. Public Diary -- What happened to the sacred days of password locking that word document or hiding the cheaply "locked" diary under your bed and protecting it with your life? Those days are gone and while most online journaling sites do allow private entries, there really isn't a point. The entire reason that people BLOG is to get attention. Why the hell do you think 90% of the people who blog are emo? Look at me, I'm so sad! The world hates me! I'm emo!.
There really isn't any point of online blogging unless you get attention for it. Girls post gay webcam pics of their half naked bodies, guys post their hardcore gangster pics, and the rest of the people write vague journal entries in their online slang. WeNt To ScHoOl ToDaY. It Was AIiGhTz. PoSt ComMenTz AiiGhtz? I'M OuTz.
2. Generalizations -- Society is a brainwasher. They feed you things and make you believe what they want. Society tells women that their fiances or boyfriends, or guys in general should give them a fat diamond ring as a sign of their love. If a guy gives a lady a small dinky band, hes a puss that doesn't really love, right? 2 months salary my ass. I remember as a little kid, I used to be brainwashed that diaries were an outlet to write the deepest secrets and feelings. To create relief for yourself from the world. Gossip, your sins, whatever. While more people write in their journal than ever, it has become just another friendster with words. Lets be popular and watch everyone we can, even though we don't read them. Lets put on another mask in our lives and pretend to be people that we AREN'T!
Doesn't that defeat the purpose a little? Once people turned to journals as their only friend, someone they could be TRUE to, themselves, and now its just the same act they play in real life. Censoring what they don't want, keeping what they do. They work to build this false image of themselves, hiding behind the facade of sadness and mourning for their pitifal lives. Sad.. boohoo. I'm shedding tears for you faggots.
So with the birth of online blogging came the end of specific journaling. And while people might conclude that journaling is at it's highest peak, EVER, it really isn't. I'd say its in a lull because people aren't fucking journaling, they're putting on shows. Pathetic shows.
Anyway, to the reason why I'm posting all of this..
I was talking to somebody today about whatever.
her (12:18:59 AM): and i dont think u should be reading my xanga anymore
phi dong (12:19:11 AM): why not 
her (12:19:17 AM): cuz ur starting to freak me out
phi dong (12:19:21 AM): ?
phi dong (12:19:36 AM): people just don't realize how my information they're giving off
her (12:19:45 AM): cuzz.....u have way too much time on ur hands
phi dong (12:19:55 AM): nah
phi dong (12:19:58 AM): it only takes one read
phi dong (12:20:00 AM): to catch info
phi dong (12:20:16 AM): you're not the center of my free time
phi dong (12:20:17 AM):
phi dong (12:20:21 AM): i pick up just as much info
phi dong (12:20:24 AM): on everyone else too
phi dong (12:20:25 AM): 
her (12:20:29 AM): ok
her (12:20:35 AM): but i would still liek u to stop reading it
phi dong (12:20:40 AM): why? :-(
phi dong (12:20:56 AM): if you don't like people reading, you should make it private
her (12:21:04 AM): *sigh*
her (12:21:17 AM): )#$(*#@()*#@$()#$
phi dong (12:21:20 AM): ?
her (12:21:20 AM): #O$U##U$@(*#$)@#
her (12:21:23 AM): <>
phi dong (12:21:25 AM): <>
her (12:21:35 AM): i hate it that i have to censor every goddamn thing!
her (12:21:38 AM): i had a stalker before
her (12:24:23 AM): i hate when ppl jump toconclusions
her (12:24:31 AM): when they dont kno me at all
phi dong (12:24:49 AM): you don't have to know someone to judge them
phi dong (12:24:52 AM): you're doing it right now
Oh right. So you post on an online journal, soliciting people to read, posting in other xangas so people reciprocate the favor and post comments in yours so you can feel loved and wanted. This is precisely the reason why i don't post in a Xanga or Livejournal. I don't like the attention people try to gain when they do that kind of lame postwhoring. Yeah, so you do all this then you expect people NOT to read because you DON'T want to censor?
Fuck. Please. I don't get how somebody can write in an online journal and not expect people to analyze their lives. That is, after all, what the main purpose is, isn't it? To gain enough attention where people think your life fucking sucks and lends out a hand and says, "Aw, I'm sorry sweet thing.. everything will be ok." and then you deny them and say, "I'm so emo! The world hates me!"
Oh.. and for the record. If anyone ever judges me and tries to ride the high and almighty horse, fuck you. Thats the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard in my whole life.
1) Make an online journal. Be read.
2) Judge people. Be judged.
There are just some inevitabilities that cannot be avoided and those two, and the persuit of hapiness, failure, and death (in that order) are 3 others.
Enjoy your online journaling everyone. I hope you all suffer, because I know you do according to your journals. Fuckheads.
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