"Characterless, undefined, dull, tame, indistinctive, unformed, dreary, colorless, blah, bland, mundane, indifferent, empty, undistinguised, trite..."
I wonder what its like to lose yourself. Not like Eminem?s ?Lose yourself?, but to lose your personality, your drive, your character. When we?re kids, we spend most of our time trying to find out who we are. We attempt to define ourselves. When the man tries to suppress us, we rebel and do anything possible to defend what we stand for. Anything from wearing sweatshirts and dickies to ditching school. These characteristics are like books that we write about ourselves; they speak volumes.
It isn?t just what we wear that represents who we are, but the people we surround ourselves with as well. Those five to eight white sweatshirts sitting around the blue table with me at lunch were a pretty fair assessment of what I stood for. Respect, dignity, hard work, dedication, humor, fun. ?Lead us to ?Fun Time?? we would shout. Responsibilities would drown behind good times. Good times.
I always felt that memories would define who you are as well. I mean, I?ve spent the majority of my life thus far, defending my beliefs. I?ve grown to this point. It seems almost ridiculous for me to throw it all away, but what would it be like.. if I did? What if I got up and left all of ?my past?.. in the past?
I wonder how it would feel.. to lose who you are.
I mean, what happens when all that?s left to define yourself is your memories. Growing up, we would be surrounded by our music, our clothes and most importantly our friends, but what if I lost all of that. It would be like I lost myself.. I would become characterless, undefined, dull, tame, indistinctive, unformed, colorless, blah, bland, mundane?.
I wonder how it feels. I hope it feels good to throw away your beliefs, your religion, your character, yourself. If it doesn?t, I?m sorry..
Keep it up kid, keep it up.